Kappeyne van de Coppello made this book to show children of a deceased brother or sister that their emotions and feelings are also allowed. She noticed in her work that these children often protect their parents from their own grief, because mom and dad are already having such a hard time. “The great thing about this self-help book is that children can work in it alone, but also together with their parents,” says the author.
The first copy will be presented to Jullian (8) at OBS De Spaarneschool in Spaarndam on the day of publication. he lost his little brother Florian very suddenly.
‘Children don’t always use words to show their emotions’
Self-help book
In “The Day Everything Changed” you meet the mouse Matsie, who is confronted with the death of his brother Morris. He takes children on a journey through the world of grief and recovery. Through his eyes they experience what it is like to lose a brother or sister and how to deal with it. It also contains creative assignments. “Children do not always use words to show their emotions,” says the child psychologist. “Their behavior and creative expressions often say much more about how they feel.”
Taboo
According to Kappeyne van de Coppello, children benefit from clarity about death. “Adults have difficulty using the word death because they want to protect their child from the harshness of life. For example, they say that the child is sleeping and does not wake up. Or that it is traveling. But that unintentionally causes misunderstandings and fear. For example, children no longer dare to sleep because they are afraid of not waking up or waiting for their brother or sister to return from the trip.”
Group discussions
Teacher Aron Neijmeijer from OBS De Spaarneschool also wants to break this taboo. He believes it is important to create a safe space where the child can tell his or her story if necessary.
For example, he talks about death in group discussions with his class. “We don’t beat around the bush.” he says. “Death is part of life. As the conversations progress, you see that more and more children are starting to empathize with their classmate.
For example, they think back to their dog or grandmother who died and talk about it. This openness ensures that the grieving child feels seen and supported.”
‘The day everything changed; First self-help book for grieving children’ is available from April 25 on bol.com and in local bookstores.
