Why has telephoning become so incredibly complicated and charged? “When I call someone unannounced, I have the feeling that I am invading their privacy,” writes Knack editor Ann Peuteman in her column De Zoezure Tuesday.
A friend’s daughter has her first job. She has been working as a copywriter for a large advertising agency for a few weeks now. “I haven’t had the opportunity to do much yet,” she says. ‘First I have to follow a whole series of courses. Tomorrow and the day after, for example, I will have telephone lessons.’ At first I think she’s joking. Not so. The young woman, who has two master’s degrees, must take a course to learn how to make telephone calls. And that for two working days. She herself doesn’t find it that strange. In her company, all new employees under the age of 32 are sent to telephone lessons.
I spontaneously think of an article for which I would interview three teenagers a few years ago. I called them five or six times in vain and left just as many voice messages. I was just about to give up when my son explained to me that I had done it all wrong. ‘Did you call? Of course they don’t respond. You have to send a text first,” he said. So I did, and within a few minutes I had an answer. Initially I thought that this aversion to using the telephone was typical of teenagers and would eventually disappear – together with the pimples and rowdy unruliness – by itself. But that was a miscalculation.
In the meantime, it has become apparent that interest is not so much related to age as to generation. I already noticed this when the first members of Generation Z came to work for us. The first time I called someone in my twenties, it took a long time before they answered. On the other end of the line I heard a hesitant, somewhat disturbed voice: ‘Yes?’ As if I had walked into her bedroom unannounced. In the meantime, I hope, my colleagues are used to receiving regular phone calls from me.
I don’t do that out of stubbornness, but because it is sometimes much more efficient. Nowadays we are interrupted all day long by WhatsApp messages, Messenger messages and cat calls on a range of other channels. Sometimes these are very targeted and handled quickly. What time do we meet? Do you have a telephone number for the Minister of Education? What time do you submit your article? Is it okay if I reserve a restaurant? These are all questions that you can answer easily and quickly with a written message. However, you also constantly receive complex requests and messages that you can interpret in three different ways. Before you know it, you’re stuck in a chat conversation that lasts much longer than a simple phone call.
Before you know it, you’re stuck in a chat conversation that lasts much longer than a simple phone call.
The biggest handicap of all those written conversations is that it is much less easy to pick up on things if your conversation partner is, for example, annoyed, angry or tired. “That’s just it,” I recently heard from an HR consultant. ‘Today’s twentysomethings don’t like it that their colleagues can tell by their voice how they feel. They want to be able to decide for themselves whether to release that information. They then do this by providing a written message with or without an emoji. By calling them unannounced, you invade their personal territory and force them to expose themselves.’
Actually, calling isn’t what it used to be for anyone. When everyone had a landline at home and at work, we were much less hesitant to call. You knew where the person calling you was located, so you adjusted the time of your call. You could only reach a colleague or business associate during working hours and you called friends afterwards (not too early, because they might be eating and not too late, because they might already want to go to bed). Anyone who was not at home or in a meeting simply did not hear the telephone. Perhaps that is also the reason why people did not feel that every caller was forcing themselves on them. They could simply choose whether or not to be in the room where the phone was located.
Afterwards I asked the brand new copywriter whether she had really benefited from those telephone lessons. “I learned some very useful tricks,” she replied. ‘When my boss calls, I answer after five ringtones. Then I have time to breathe and he doesn’t get the impression that I have nothing else to do. If I get another work phone, I will first send WhatsApp to ask if it is urgent. Then I already know what it is about when I call back.’ As I listen to her enthusiastic explanation, I think that such telephone rules are probably efficient. But also very tiring.
