Iron-may-not, your life in order without an iron: ‘It takes energy, it gives you back pain and you don’t see anything anyway’

No topic stirred my social media as fiercely as the question of whether and how the wrinkles are ironed out in contemporary households. “Just fold it up, put it in the cupboard and don’t think about it,” Michelle advises. “Of course men iron, on Sundays The mole”, I learn from Erik, and Jolien admits that she needs it: “I am a fan. When my ironing is done, I feel like I have my life together.”

The non-scientifically substantiated conclusion of my ironing poll is that women in particular are kept awake by excess ironing. “If my daughter or husband wants something ironed, they know where the ironing board is,” Ilke tips. And Annelies teaches us the beauty of book ironing: “Fold everything up and then the cookbook of the Boerinnenbond (current Ferm, ed.) on it for a night. By morning you will have a nicely ironed pile.”

Gimmick with a message

The haters’ camp also includes tidying coach Lieselotte Valcke, who noticed that a wrinkle-free life has few advantages to offer, so last year she started the Iron-May-Not campaign together with fellow coach Lore Tessier. “The promotion is a gimmick, but the message behind it is not. Try not to iron or iron as little as possible for the entire month of May. By letting go more, you can save a lot of time for things you like to do.” Not that they have anything against string fans. Ironing is free, anyone who likes to do it or have it done can just as well count on their sympathy.

Climbing the barricades to claim more time for women is going too far for them, but they want to change something by questioning ironing habits. “We don’t just focus on women, many single dads are also happy with our tips. But it is ingrained that women do the ironing, so no or less ironing is the fastest way to get more time for ourselves,” Valcke explains. “Our survey of 474 people last year showed that 75 percent of them iron because they have to and only 16 percent like to do it. For 42 percent of respondents, an ironing session takes longer than an hour and at 83.5 percent, T-shirts are among the most ironed items of clothing. When you see those figures, there is still some time to be gained.”

Whether or not to iron is partly related to the cultural norms you inherit, Mahsa Bagheri (33) experiences. She only irons what is really necessary, such as an outfit for a dance performance or to go to a party. “I do feel that in Belgium less importance is attached to appearance, in Iran women are more concerned with make-up, fashion and ensure that they always appear neat. It is usually women who do the ironing, but Iran is a large country, and gender roles are not so strong everywhere.”

The Belgian weather also plays to our advantage, Mahsa notices: when it is cold, you are more likely to put on a sweater or jacket and you cannot see what is underneath. “I don’t often go outside in clothes that you can see have not been ironed, but shaking out the laundry well and hanging it up neatly does wonders. I know a family where even the socks and underpants are ironed, even though the parents are both doctors, I think that is really nonsense. It takes energy, it gives you back pain and you don’t see anything anyway.”

“I never iron, not in my entire life,” says Claire Desmet (65) proudly. She did not receive any criticism for it, although she was amazed. “Maybe they thought something about my children’s crumpled handkerchiefs, but I never cared much about that. ‘Being everyone menage’, they say here in West Flanders. Some people may need ironing to get some peace of mind, but I prefer to listen to the birds in the garden. I like to do laundry, it smells so good and I am efficient, I hang the laundry outside to dry and then I iron it with my hands. Another advantage: I never have a mountain of ironing to do.”

Making invisible work visible

Claire’s story is an exception in what researchers at the VUB see in time use research. They let people keep diaries of what they did over the past 24 hours. Time-consuming, but one of the clearest methods to make visible the many invisible work that women do, explains researcher Theun Pieter van Tienoven. These figures show that cleaning, vacuuming, cooking, washing dishes and tidying up are tasks that are mainly done by women. “Over the past fifty years, men have started to spend more time on these tasks, but not on washing and ironing. That remains a task that only women take on. In fact, it is a very good factor for predicting someone’s gender. If you know nothing about a person, except that they don’t iron, you have a 95 percent chance that you are dealing with a man.”

A virtually iron-free life at 65 like Claire’s is a unique story. “In my generation it was a typical women’s job. I never saw my grandfather or father ironing, that was unthinkable,” she says. “Fortunately, that is changing. My grandson likes to iron his shirts, so he does it himself. For a long time I was the only one who never ironed, but I am gradually convincing friends to try without it.”

Stiffer fabrics

Anyone who delves into history will see that the responsibility for ensuring that the entire family was neatly washed and ironed was placed in the hands of women until well after the Second World War, says Marie Vandecaveye, researcher at the Ghent folklore museum Huis van Alijn. “And that was a lot of work. The fabrics were stiffer, such as linen and cotton, clothes were made themselves and repaired more often and ironing made them last longer. In the 1960s, more and more synthetic fabrics such as polyester came onto the market, as well as lighter irons with a thermostat. At the same time, higher standards were introduced regarding how everything should be ironed, so that the work still took the same amount of time. In addition, there was a new market with separate equipment for creating a perfect fold in trousers and ironing epaulettes or ties.”

The fact that the bar was raised is evident from the housekeeping books and advertisements that were kept, says Vandecaveye. “You see a clear link with etiquette and appearance: everyone had to leave the house neatly starched and clean children were a sign. Family situations were also less diverse, most women were at home, and if one woman managed it, the other had to succeed too. This image was further reinforced by the advertisements for irons and starch from that time. The height of that attitude was in the 50s and 60s.”

In recent decades, things have changed when women gained access to studies and the labor market, says van Tienoven. “As women started working outside the home more often, it was expected that men would take on more household duties. However, research shows time and time again that women spend less time on housework, but men no more. The difference is smaller, but that is mainly because less is done in total. That is why we are talking about a one-sided household revolution.”

Bare-chested

Jens Deneweth (43) has recently started to play his part in the household revolution. “I haven’t been ironing for very long,” he admits, but as a structured person he likes the cupboards to be clean and without a mountain of ironing. “Instead of getting annoyed, I realized that I could better help keep our household with three children running smoothly. I now divide the ironing work with my wife, we are a good team. Eighty percent of the clothes are neatly folded. What remains are mainly the children’s clothes and some delicate pieces from my wife. I don’t like it when they call me a new man, it mainly says that men have done things wrong in the past. We divide the work according to what everyone likes to do, my wife prefers to cut the grass, I think ironing is very okay. And yes, I sometimes do that bare-chested, then it looks quite masculine.” (laughs)

These types of stories can certainly help to break through traditional gender roles, Van Tienoven thinks. “Domestic work is invisible and undervalued. Working outside the home not only gives you an income, but also more prestige, we value it more in our society. Men have little to gain by giving more of their time to household chores. This is different for women; if they work outside the home more, they gain in status. If those relationships do not shift, it will be very difficult to move towards greater equality.”

As long as that shift does not happen, it is mainly ways to reduce the ironing pile that can help us get more time for ourselves, tidying coaches Tessier and Valcke advise. “Letting go is crucial and that is a fairly new theme that has not lasted a generation. It is logical that you sometimes think: what will the family or colleagues think? It may help to turn the question around. Have you ever thought: wow, he’s wearing nicely ironed clothes?”

Lore Tessier doesn’t even hate ironing herself. “Of all the household chores, that was my favorite thing to do, but it is one of the few things that you can easily skip without having hygiene problems. Washing windows may also fall into that category, but I rarely do that either. There are so many things I would rather do than ironing. I also had to deal with leaving the house with a wrinkled T-shirt, but thanks to last year’s campaign I went from one basket per month to one dress per year.”