“Ritalin is a medication for people with ADHD or ADD. If you take it you will be less dreamy and forgetful, you will be able to concentrate better and the anxiety will disappear. You can only get it with a doctor’s prescription and if you have been officially diagnosed with ADHD, like my teenage daughter Mandy. She has been taking it for the past four years and has benefited greatly from it. The sharp edges were off, as she says. When she took Ritalin, Mandy had better control over her impulsive and busy ADHD behavior and was able to function better.
When Mandy started taking the medicine, I got a new position at work that required me to take an intensive course. Every evening I sat with my nose in the books. I tried to combine my job and studies with caring for Mandy and her brother Sven, but after three months I was completely burned out. This had to be different. I knew that Ritalin improves concentration, and that students regularly use it to study for exams. A pill couldn’t hurt, I thought. So I took one to see if it worked.
Hyper focus
The pill worked almost immediately. I immediately became hyper-focused while studying and could read for hours on end without being distracted. Three nights later I had another one. Studying became easier and finally felt like a fun challenge, instead of a grueling assignment. Once the pill had worn off after about three hours, I could just go to bed and not have any problems the next day.
Someone who does not have ADHD, like me, does not calm down, but rather turns on Ritalin. It feels like a stimulant that makes you think clearly and not feel tired. That pill literally made me see everything more clearly, and I could concentrate on everything I did. My activities became very efficient, which saved me a lot of time. Because Mandy took Ritalin daily, there were always enough pills at home. When they ran out, she could immediately submit a repeat prescription to the pharmacy. No questions were ever asked, we were able to pick up the pills right away. So no one noticed that I kept a box for myself.
Ritalin
After completing my course after a few months, I didn’t touch the Ritalin again for a while. But after three weeks it started to bother me again. I had a bachelor party where I didn’t know anyone else, and as an experiment I took a pill to loosen up. It worked. During dinner I was confident and sat comfortably in my talking chair. Later, in the pub I decided to have another one. I was on the dance floor until late at night and felt great.
Then the bear was loose and I started swallowing almost daily. I kept coming up with a different excuse for myself: I had a lot of housework to do, a day full of meetings at work, or a birthday that I was dreading. I could find a small one everywhere boost when using. The pill works quickly and I had no side effects. I thought. But when I went on holiday with a friend and forgot my Ritalin, things went wrong.
Terrible headache
After just three days I felt constantly restless. At first I thought it was because of all the work stress that came out. I didn’t sleep well, but at the same time I was exhausted and had terrible headaches all day long. All I could think about was ‘my pills’ and I actually wanted to go home as quickly as possible. Suddenly I realized I was having withdrawal symptoms. But no way that I would tell my girlfriend that my behavior was because of my daughter’s ADHD pills. I even tried to buy them at the local pharmacy, but unfortunately I couldn’t get them.
Withdrawal
Mandy no longer takes them, and I will soon run out of her old supply. The prospect makes me nervous and depressed. You cannot simply stop taking Ritalin, you have to reduce it slowly. I’ll have to start doing that now. I sometimes look online, but I don’t dare buy the pills on some vague website. They are even offered for a lot of money on Marktplaats, but I think that’s all too shady. The fact that I’m so preoccupied with it is worrying, I know. I think I’ll really have to kick the habit once I run out of boxes. But it’s gone. Then I will get rid of it automatically.”
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