Every week we share a candid and honest love lesson from a reader. Because love only becomes more beautiful when you share. Even though Ivo (56) and his wife Annette have been together for almost thirty years, it was a great camper that brought them together again. “We had missed ourselves and each other.”
“In my eyes, Annette is still a very beautiful woman. She has the sweetest smile I have ever seen, and eyes that embrace me when she looks at me. Her blonde hair is a bit shorter than before, her body a bit fuller, but That just gives me more to love.”
“We have weathered the tropical years well, I always thought. This often only refers to the first five years, with diapers and broken nights, but that is not the case. Children always rely on you, even when they are teenagers, and when they move into rooms. Their questions and concerns always come before yours and each other’s. For Annette even more than for me.”
Unexpected search for each other
“Two years ago, our eldest daughter moved to a room in Groningen, almost a two-hour train ride away from us. That was quite a shock. I have never felt so much like ‘the father’ as when I found her doubting in a 2 by 3 room. was screwing together.
We enjoyed this new phase, it felt a bit freer with only one child at home. Even though she was never a burden to us. Within a year the youngest had also left and that was the start of an unexpected search for each other. Annette was sad, I felt freedom. Still months later.”
“Annette became quiet and withdrawn, didn’t feel like doing anything. After work she would come home and take a bath, and then often go to bed. At the weekends she hoped the girls would come home, but all our plans had to make way for that. I understood that, for a moment, but I also thought it was a shame.
I actually wanted to go out. Finally we could get back on the road without time pressure, without appointments and without consultation. Stroll on the Veluwe for as long as we wanted. Beer already at three o’clock. Annette only came along sometimes, because maybe someone else would come.”
Sparkle in eyes
“Last year I bought a camper. Without consultation. I had invested some money in recent years and decided to have my profits paid out. Annette had laughed at me, but she also liked it. Finally I saw that sparkle in her eyes again. , which seemed hidden for a while.
Just before autumn hit, we headed to Spain. We wanted to see the green north, the Guggenheim in Bilbao and live outside all day long. Playing CDs together on the road, making sandwiches and sometimes being silent for hours and still being.”
“I was looking forward to it, but things didn’t go well deep into France. Annette found it difficult to be in a different country than our adult daughters, even though she knew she didn’t have to. We felt awkward together, and after thirty years. How was that possible? Had we lived so much in our own reality in recent years that being together suddenly became a quest?”
Always assume the good
“The solution came from an unexpected source. A two-hour drive from the campsite I had already booked, our camper suddenly stopped working. No smoke, no lights, it simply didn’t work anymore.
In my best Spanish, I went looking for help on top of that mountain. I forgot to turn off roadside assistance, and instead of getting angry, Annette burst out laughing. That’s how she is, and that’s how we are. Always assume the good, and we’ll see the rest.”
“Suddenly we saw each other again for who we were. In our old bodies, but also in our old roles.”
“There in that warm September sun we made the best of it, with toast and lukewarm cola. Suddenly we saw each other again for who we were. In our old bodies, but also in our old roles. Connected because we didn’t want to be with anyone else.
Thanks to the help of a passing camper, we still parked at our campsite that evening. We drank two bottles of wine and cried together for a moment about everything we felt. And then we laughed really hard and made out as if we were on a date again.”
Fluttering butterflies
“We had missed ourselves and each other so much. The butterflies fluttered again, even after three decades. We ended up staying in Spain for another week and a half and made new plans. The coming years are ours. I can’t wait.”
