You can’t learn sex from a piece of paper. But you can peak better thanks to hard science. These ten tips will help you experience many unforgettable nights.
1. Play wild games
Tip? Play games (m).
How so? By playing a lot of action games, you will not only become better at virtual games: avid gamers would suffer less from premature ejaculation. This may be due to the hormone dopamine. Exciting games provide large amounts of dopamine in the body, so gamers get used to it. During sex, dopamine influences the speed of an orgasm. If a body is more used to the ‘pleasure hormone’, an orgasm may come a little later.
Evidence? Researchers from, among others, the Sapienza Università di Roma (Italy) examined gamers in 2017. They used questionnaires to find out how many games the test subjects played and how they performed during bed games. People who played games for more than an hour a day reported that they suffered less from premature ejaculation. But that’s where the good news ends for square-eyed people. They have less sexual desire than non-gamers. The habituation to dopamine probably also plays a role there: it takes a lot to keep gamers excited, is the explanation.
2. Working on bedding
Tip? Do the housework (m), or put the man to work (f).
How so? To perform better under the sheets, you need to wash them regularly. As a man then. But don’t let the man do too much around the house: that is disastrous for sex. It’s all about an equal division of roles between the sexes. This leads to a better relationship, and therefore to better sex.
Evidence? In 2016, American sociologists (University of Utah) asked 487 couples about their division of roles in the household and their sexual frequency. The more equal the division of roles, the more sex took place, although the differences were not huge. Couples who split the tasks had on average half the amount of sex per month than traditional couples. Older studies indicated that couples with a traditional division of roles had sex more often. But the times are over, the researchers believe. And that is good news for women: according to the latest study, men actually benefit from doing their best in the household.
3. On suitors’ feet
Tip? Wear socks (m/f).
How so? To have sex, it helps to take off some clothes. But it’s better to keep your socks on, because they increase the chance of an orgasm. Socks provide a comfortable feeling, allowing your brain to be carefree in position. This way the body can also focus on positions without any worries.
Evidence? During research by neuroscientist Gert Holstege of the University of Groningen, subjects seemed to reach climax more easily with socks on their feet. Holstege observed the brains of people having sex while they lay in a brain scanner. The research focused on brain activity, but those socks stood out. Without socks on, more than half of the test subjects achieved an orgasm. With socks that percentage was eighty percent. It was a small sample, but the gain was significant. Enough reason to ensure warm feet. Although socks may be less important if you’re not fooling around in a cold brain scanner.
4.High highlight
Tip? Smoke a joint (m/f).
How so? Smoking soft drugs produces better orgasms. Weed makes physical experiences more intense, and that also helps when you’re rolling around.
Evidence? The influence of alcohol and marijuana on sex was examined in 2016 by psychologists from New York University (USA). They spoke extensively with experienced experts to discover the positive and negative sides. Alcohol had quite a few negative consequences, but a portion of weed was quite beneficial. The sexual experience was more intense and the satisfaction afterwards was greater (drunk sex often leads to regret).
However, a joint does not guarantee wild evenings. The study took place in America, where cannabis is illegal. According to the researchers, this offers an exciting atmosphere that you should miss in the Netherlands. And test subjects appeared to become distracted more often by drugs, which meant they no longer felt like having sex. With a joint on, you no longer have to lie on someone else as necessary. Just sitting on the couch is fine.
5. Fragrant pastries
Tip? Bake a pumpkin pie and scent some lavender (m).
How so? Some scents can trigger sexual urges. And not just the expensive scent of a handsome man or woman. Because if something smells really nice, it also evokes sexual pleasure. Apparently the same brain areas are then stimulated.
Evidence? In a 2014 study, men were given a scented mask and exposed to dozens of scents. For each scent, researchers from the Smell and Taste Treatment Research Foundation in Chicago (USA) measured how aroused the men were. The combination of lavender with pumpkin pie (a treat in the US) turned out to be the most tantalizing. A mixture of black licorice and donut also did well: it came in second place.
But how did scientists discover whether men are aroused by smells? The male body offers a good measuring instrument for this. During sexual arousal, more blood flows to the penis. While male subjects smelled odors, the researchers only had to measure the blood flow at their bottom. With the smell of cake, forty percent more blood went to the crotch.
6. Take it up a notch
Tip? Make a lot of noise (v)
How so? Is that moaning really necessary? Certainly, it provides extra pleasure. Sound helps to let the other person know that they are doing well. And that means they can enjoy it more. Moaning makes sex better for everyone involved. Well, except for the neighbors maybe.
Evidence? In 2010, psychologists from the University of Central Lancashire (England), among others, investigated female ‘vocalizations’ during sex. Not with a microphone, but with a good questionnaire. The scientists discovered that the intensity of the moans usually coincides with pleasure. Logical, but the sounds are not just an expression of pleasure. They also influence it.
Women can moan in moderation. But they can also choose to make the glasses dance from the china cupboard. In the latter case, the partner comes more quickly. This way, women can direct sex a bit, for example if they have had enough themselves. According to the researchers, this trick has a long evolutionary history, and can also be seen in Barbary macaques, for example. Don’t let that evolutionary advantage go unused.
7. Hot housework
Tip? Don’t watch porn anymore. Do it yourself (m/f).
How so? Porn films may seem like good training material. But it’s better to fill lonely hours with good activities, such as baking pumpkin pie. Because the more porn you watch, the less satisfied you are with your own sex life. That’s because of social comparison. You reflect your own qualities on what you see on the screen. And you can’t compete with trained sex machines. As a result, you judge your own sexual performance less if you watch a lot of porn.
Evidence? 2341 Dutch young people were interviewed in 2009 for a study at the University of Amsterdam. The young people indicated how much ‘sexually explicit internet material’ they viewed. They also indicated how satisfied they were with their sex life. The connection was clear for both sexes: the more porn, the more dissatisfied with their own sex life. Porn was especially bad for young people who were not very sexually active: the comparison was even worse there.
8. Eastern adventure
Tip? Be zen (v).
How so? Some Eastern consciousness can help in the bedroom. Meditation and yoga let you live more ‘in the moment’. This comes in handy if you are hanging in the lights at that moment.
Evidence? For women, turning to Oriental therapy may help, according to a 2008 review study from the University of British Columbia (Canada). The researchers listed the benefits found in previous studies. Eastern approaches help not only to act important, but also to peak better. Mindfulness exercises, in which you learn to live more in the present, could improve your love life. Especially if those exercises are specifically aimed at sex. For example, it helps to look at your own genitals in a mirror in an extremely mindful manner for twenty minutes, the researchers write.
If you are a little too aware of this, then yoga, for example, can also improve sexual experiences. Because the mind and body become more balanced, the researchers explain, women could enjoy sex more.
9. Happy Rabbit
Tip? Do it often (m/f).
How so? You can hardly have enough sex. In any case, make sure you do it more often than others. Because that makes you happier. Because we like to compare ourselves with others. And if we score well in that comparison, it increases our happiness.
Evidence? Happiness is often a matter of comparison. It’s not that important how much money you make, as long as it’s more than the neighbor’s. Then you can feel better than others and that makes you happy. The same principle applies to sex, sociologist Tim Wadsworth from the University of Colorado Boulder (US) discovered in 2013. He compared the sex frequency of test subjects with that of their age group.
Sex makes people happier, but especially if they do it more than others. So in your twenties you need a lot more horizontal activity to be happy than as an elderly person. People who crawled under the sheets less than their peers seem to be less happy about this. By having sex a lot you kill two birds with one stone: a pleasant comparison with others and many fun evenings.
10. Red ears
Tip? Drink red wine (v).
How so? Drinking one or two glasses of red wine daily does provide some benefits. Women who drink red wine, but in moderation, have a greater desire for sex and more satisfying sex than women who do not drink red wine. Extra bonus: wine-drinking women also scored better in the ‘moisture’ category.
Evidence? These important conclusions came from a 2009 study at the Università degli Studi di Firenze (Italy). Urologists questioned about 800 Italian women about their lifestyle under the sheets and above the tablecloth. The two seemed quite related. Moderate red wine drinkers (one to two glasses per day) scored better on the Female Sexual Function Index, a commonly used questionnaire to assess women’s sexual health. Exactly how wine improves sex is still a mystery to scientists, but use it to your advantage. Hello!
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Tags: scientific tips sex life
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