5 tips for a better sex life

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April 2, 2024

The more sex, the better your relationship. That is the conclusion of a number of American researchers. That’s why: 5 tips to freshen up your sex life.

The more sex, the better the relationship, that is the conclusion of American researchers who discovered that the number of times you have sex or the number of times you argue is not an indication of how happy a relationship is. But an indication is the ratio of the number of times of sex and the number of times of arguments. Couples who are happy with their relationship almost always have sex more often than they argue. With unhappy couples it is the other way around. A great reason to give your sex life a little more attention.

1. Use your imagination

A dirty mind is a joy forever. This appears to be the case, because people with active sex life also often have an active fantasy life. Fifty percent of women and seventy-five percent of men fantasize during sex, especially at the beginning, to become extra aroused, and at the end, to achieve an orgasm. If you want to share your fantasy with your bed partner, go ahead, but the most important thing is not to feel guilty while fantasizing, because then the exciting effect will disappear in one go.

Although men and women differ in their… sexual fantasiesthere are a number of common themes, such as sex with a stranger or a celebrity, sex with someone of the same sex, sex in a group, forced sex, sex in other locations and watching or being watched during sex.

Also read: this is what women like least during sex

2. Make your wishes known

Saying what you like in bed is a tip that you can use in any improvement-your-sex lifebook found. But how do you tell your loved one that you would prefer to be chained to the wall upside down in a Lycra suit or just want to cuddle by candlelight? And especially, how do you say that if you have been together for twenty years? According to psychologists Michael Broder and Arlene Goldman, it is never too late to express your wishes. Better fifteen years late than never, they say. And according to them, expressing your sexual desires is also possible without words. During sex, take your (bed) partner’s hand and guide him or her to places on your body that arouse you. According to Broder and Goldman, showing what you like can be done just as well in gestures as in words.

3. Sex is all in the mind

Sex is inextricably linked to the senses. Smell, taste, sound and image are extremely important for excitement and pleasure, with the skin as one of the most important and certainly largest senses. The brain interprets the signals from the senses and then creates an increasing feeling of excitement. Negative thoughts, but also unnecessary thoughts such as ‘what should I cook tonight?’ get in the way of that excitement. Therefore, make sure that this ‘noise’ in your head does not get a chance.

  • Mentally say ‘stop’.
  • Focus on your partner, on a fantasy or on a physical feeling.
  • Talk. Say something sweet or exciting to that cute naked man or woman next to you.

According to Broder and Goldman, more pleasure in sex is a matter of a lot of practice, in every area.

4. Do yoga

According to sex therapist Anne Hooper, yoga is good for the better sex life. Not only do you train the pelvic floor muscles, which Hooper believes are necessary for a strong orgasm, but it also makes you more flexible, useful for athletic positions.

Yoga is also good for your sex life because it relaxes you and makes you feel better in your own body.

Yoga exercises against neck complaints during sex

5. Bring more intimacy into your relationship

The English sex therapist Paula Hall has one excercise invented to bring some extra intimacy into your relationship. The more intimate you are as lovers, the better the sex.

Agree that you will take turns being ‘asker’ and ‘giver’ for a few days.

The day you ask, you think of a number of things you want from your partner. Don’t make vague requests like ‘be kind to me’ and avoid unpleasant questions like ‘take the bottles to the bottle bank.’ Think more along the lines of breakfast in bed, a foot massage, a sweet App every hour or… wild sex (the latter may not be necessary every hour).

According to Hall, by alternating between asking and giving, it makes it easier to say what you want and, even if it seems artificial at first, you create more intimacy.

Tip from the editor

Discover the liberating power of letting go of shame Shameless Sex by Nynke Nijman. This book explores how shame hinders our sexuality and offers insights and practices to freely embrace your sexual desires. For more information click on the button below.

TEXT MANON DAELMANS

IMAGE GETTYIMAGES

The article is in Dutch

Tags: tips sex life

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