Sjamadriaan: ‘The ‘collaccino’ is so silly that it seems innocent’

This was by far the most stupid form of coffee consumption I had ever seen, until a few days ago. Then I saw an influencer promoting the so-called ‘collaccino’. This is a cappuccino, but with pink collagen powder in it. Hence the name. Sanne van Lierop, 154,000 followers, normally prides herself on sharing natural vegan recipes, but now has no problem promoting what appears to be a whipped Fristi based on ground collagen gelatin, extracted from the residual waste of a cow. Of course, cleverly decorated with all kinds of misleading claims.

There is no reason to take collagen supplements at all. Collagen is a protein found in your skin and cartilage and a body substance that decreases as you age, causing wrinkles. That is the fear that producers and influencers respond to, but supplementing with collagen seems to have little to no effect. Radar previously examined the effect of collagen supplements, with a dermatologist stating that even if you inject collagen into the right places, you see no improvement.

Let alone if you take it and it has to end up in your skin via your stomach acid and your intestines. In addition: the studies that are supposed to show that it tightens the skin are structural with very few test subjects and hardly show significant results that are not visible to the eye. They have also been carried out by the manufacturers themselves, so you always have to wonder whether a gigantic mountain of research has been hidden away, which shows no effect whatsoever.

Well, all that is nothing that a kek marketing sauce can’t disguise, or so creator Manon van Essen thinks. She previously founded the webshop vitamins.com, where anyone can quickly pick up a tasty smörgåsbord of unnecessary supplements. Van Essen knows better than anyone how to convert pseudoscientific welfare madness into money.

It’s a piece of cake, but the collaccino will probably become a huge success in the country’s welfare jet set and will be massively promoted under the guise of irony and cultural gastronomy. Jonas Kooyman, for example, already did this. He is the administrator of the Instagram account Havermelkelite with 178,00 followers, which normally shares memes and articles about ‘trends and status symbols in the world of young city dwellers’. Oat milk elite used to have a journalistic touch, but Kooyman has now skillfully shaken off any scruples and is now promoting the collaccino in an advertisement disguised as a meme. Most people I spoke to didn’t even notice that it was advertising.

It illustrates how marketing-technically ingenious the collaccino is: it is so silly that it seems innocent, so you can flaunt it as a kind of status symbol of self-mockery and cult. And thus the actual nature of the powder remains undiscussed, namely that it is pseudoscientific rubbish.

Then give me one of those coffee enemas. With anally inserted espresso, the influencer on duty at least exposes his buttocks.