Attention, family secret! – Society – Plusmagazine

Attention, family secret! – Society – Plusmagazine
Attention, family secret! – Society – Plusmagazine

Anne Vanderdonckt observes society, its evolutions, its progress, its inconsistencies. She shares with you her doubts, her questions, her enthusiasm. And if she makes fun of anything, it’s herself.

Like most children, I fantasized that my parents were not everyday ones—those who felt obliged to frustrate me so that I could grow up—but a couple of princes, infinitely good and beautiful, who would one day find me. In a child’s life, that search is the most natural thing, whether it stays with you or not, and which may leave him with a small sense of guilt later on. But not with me: my parents have always listened to these kinds of stories with respect, even if with fun eyes.

In my family there were no secrets, nor secretive stuff. Everything was discussed at the table, on the condition that it remained private. Although what was truly private had to wait until the dishes were washed, privately. On the other hand, no one came to visit without agreeing an hour beforehand. And not a single drawer was locked, for no one dared to open one in the absence of the owner. The locks were invisible, but everyone knew they were there.

So a priori, no big secrets to fantasize about, or to fear. Although… Do you really know someone’s life, even if it is your closest family?

I therefore experienced the fact that I had to empty my parents’ apartment as a form of violence. Violence against those who were still alive and whose private lives I was digging; those who, despite their dependence, were still my parents. Violence also against myself, who had no desire at all to peer through the keyhole, to know their lives in detail, including the most prosaic. I was horrified to discover the many pairs of shoes in their house, but by what right? Why did they keep them all? And why was that stained anorak hanging in the closet instead of taking it to the dry cleaners? Although you resist it with all your might, you quickly reach a judgment.

I can’t get my neighbor’s comment out of my head when she was no longer able to run the household: “You know, the worst thing is all those strangers who sit in your closets and are forced to take possession of them”. And then there are all those documents that you have to go through, all those photos from times you didn’t know, that you have to gather together. No secrets there either. Not a prince who dropped a crib with a child. If you think about it, the secret that best fits the definition isn’t what doesn’t reveal the truth, but rather what you don’t suspect. It is known that even what is not spoken can affect people’s lives, without them knowing the origin of their discomfort.

So, what secret? Or maybe… You can’t help fantasizing… Being fascinated by stories of truths that come to light post mortem, without being fully elucidated. And leave the next of kin with their assumptions and generalizations. Imagine how devastating it can be for those who discover such a bomb… One that, unlike the charming princely begetter, does exist (read more)

Like most children, I fantasized that my parents were not everyday ones—those who felt obliged to frustrate me so that I could grow up—but a couple of princes, infinitely good and beautiful, who would one day find me. In a child’s life, that search is the most natural thing, whether it stays with you or not, and which may leave him with a small sense of guilt later on. But not with me: my parents have always listened to these kinds of stories with respect, even if with fun eyes. In my family there were no secrets, nor secretive stuff. Everything was discussed at the table, on the condition that it remained private. Although what was truly private had to wait until the dishes were washed, privately. On the other hand, no one came to visit without agreeing an hour beforehand. And not a single drawer was locked, for no one dared to open one in the absence of the owner. The locks were invisible, but everyone knew they were there. So a priori, no big secrets to fantasize about, or to fear. Although… Do you really know someone’s life, even if it is your closest family? I therefore experienced the fact that I had to empty my parents’ apartment as a form of violence. Violence against those who were still alive and whose private lives I was digging; those who, despite their dependence, were still my parents. Violence also against myself, who had no desire at all to peer through the keyhole, to know their lives in detail, including the most prosaic. I was horrified to discover the many pairs of shoes in their house, but by what right? Why did they keep them all? And why was that stained anorak hanging in the closet instead of taking it to the dry cleaners? Although you resist it with all your might, you quickly reach a judgment. I can’t get my neighbor’s comment out of my head when she was no longer able to run the household: “You know, the worst thing is all those strangers who sit in your closets and are forced to take possession of them”. And then there are all those documents that you have to go through, all those photos from times you didn’t know, that you have to gather together. No secrets there either. Not a prince who dropped a crib with a child. If you think about it, the secret that best fits the definition isn’t what doesn’t reveal the truth, but rather what you don’t suspect. It is known that even what is not spoken can affect people’s lives, without them knowing the origin of their discomfort. So, what secret? Or maybe… You can’t help fantasizing… Being fascinated by stories of truths that come to light post mortem, without being fully elucidated. And leave the next of kin with their assumptions and generalizations. Imagine how devastating it can be for those who discover such a bomb… One that, unlike the charming princely begetter, does exist (read more)


The article is in Dutch

Tags: Attention family secret Society Plusmagazine

PREV ‘Google Pixel 7 will cost $599, Pixel 7 Pro’ $899 – Tablets and phones – News
NEXT LIVE: Cody Gakpo quickly takes the lead after a beautiful attack | UEFA Nations League 2022/2023