The transition, he calls it transformation, that Kleinsman allows his clients to make is from being an above-average version to becoming the most limitless, exceptional and unbeatable version of themselves (being). As that best version, clients can live their lives the way they want, with the people they love. They can then achieve and obtain what matters most to them. There are two requirements. You must really want to transform and direct and radical choices must be made.
Sounds simple, is it? ‘Our lives are determined by traumas,’ says Kleinsman. ‘Many are not aware of this, but everyone suffers a dent in their youth. Thinking that they are not good enough is the dent that many people have. If you allow such a negative thought long enough, you will believe in it and act on it and then that is your identity. And so there are many assumed truths that are inspired by, for example, parents, teachers, faith or tradition, which help determine your identity in a way that you actually do not want, but which you cannot simply leave behind. The only way to break those so-called truths is a transformation of your identity and no, that is not easy. If you have always been told that sex is dirty, you will not dare to enjoy it. If you were raised to be frugal, showing that you have money is not done. If your parents always said ‘just act normal, you’re already acting crazy enough’, who decided what was crazy? Probably not you. Your ego, call it your mind, will always want to hold on to what you were once told. Breaking through the ego is therefore the first step towards a new identity.’
Coaching on identity
Kleinsman does not make decisions overnight. A coaching process always starts with a free consultation, after which we determine whether collaboration is useful. ‘This consultation is not a nice coffee date, it is an intensive exploration of who I have in front of me. Based on the conversation I get to know the other person’s needs. If anyone has the idea that it is all vague nonsense, then that will be over after such a consultation. Sometimes results are achieved even after that conversation. When collaboration comes to fruition, a unique transformation program is created that exactly meets the client’s needs. Of course, it starts with establishing the current identity and more importantly, why it has been formed the way it has. In the next step we will look at the advantages and disadvantages of that identity. Then it becomes clear to everyone that they have literally chosen who they are at that moment. If you know that, the logical conclusion is that you can simply choose again, but in a very conscious way so that you decide who you want to become. Forget what others have told you and write your own truth. A condition for successful transformation is the importance you give to it. Only if it is really important to you will you be able to let go of those stories that others told you. That is why I consciously coach based on identity rather than activity. This sets me apart from the average coaches. They say: do this, do that, but when the coaching stops, the client often falls back into old habits. After our collaboration, my clients are the best versions of themselves and with that new identity, the activities that match this will follow automatically. Nice side effect: if you can really be who you want to be, then you radiate that and that ensures that you keep noticing that more is possible, and if you know that life can be even more beautiful, why would you don’t want to?’
Kleinsman has developed a unique and characteristic coaching style over the years and is known for his no-nonsense approach. On the one hand, this is because he does not accept lame excuses from clients and is not afraid of hurting feelings or egos. On the other hand, he knows that the spiritual part of the process can be off-putting to people because they cannot put their finger on it. ‘I don’t want to waste time, so I hold my clients strictly to the agreements made and with my specific approach I can show them and experience that the spiritual part is also very concrete. Your feeling is always right, until your head starts to interfere. The voice inside you is the best compass, you just have to learn to trust it. I have now become very good at quickly clarifying what someone needs. I focus on people who have already achieved success or are determined to realize their full potential. These are people who know deep down that there is so much more to be or achieve. My mission is to help them reinvent themselves and that is fundamentally different from helping them find themselves.’
His way of coaching is largely based on his own experiences. ‘I am left-handed and that was not easily accepted when I was little. I wet my pants on stage during a Christmas musical at school. I had to get a vaccination that I actually didn’t want. I couldn’t find my way in high school and therefore performed poorly. My parents subconsciously made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I learned that it is arrogant to think that I deserve total happiness. At first glance things that don’t seem important, but that actually had a deep impact on the rest of my life. These are the traumas I talked about before. They caused me to have panic attacks later in life and I became a pleaser, wanting everyone to like me. I got stuck on that and looking for a solution took me many years. Now I have completely redesigned my own life and through all those experiences I have the skills and abilities to really help people with an identity switch to process their traumas. Then they don’t have to search for years. The transformation to the next level takes my clients between two to four months, depending on their own efforts. There was even an outlier who experienced a transformation in the first consultation.’
A coaching program with Kleinsman is not cheap and he demands 100 percent commitment. He still wants to help people who cannot or do not want to, which is why he shares his knowledge and experiences in two books that challenge the reader to immediately put what they read into practice.
This is how you become a game changer
In 2020, How to Become a Gamechanger was published, a bestseller that is now known as the bible for personal development. The audio version of this book was published in 2022.
Based on assignments in the book, you write a strategy consisting of principles, habits and routines to achieve your maximum potential and best performance. It helps you take charge of your own life and shows you how to become a game changer. It consists of four parts:
2. High performer
3. Elite performer
4. Game changer
Fuck it, you can have it all
Becoming successful is not difficult, staying successful is something else. This book, which was published in May of this year, shows that by developing your being, or your state of ‘being’, you can effectively create new successes and grow to your 3.0 version, and the 4.0, the 5.0, and so on.
The book consists of five parts:
1. Who do you want to be?
2. What, with whom and how?
3. Get started!
4. Great enjoyment
5. Have it all!
The chapters in the five parts all start with an action step, which is then explained. By working out each action step, you write a complete strategy to become the next version of yourself. It’s a never-ending story, because you can of course do that again and again.
Want to read more about or learn from Wouter Kleinsman? Then take a look at wouterkleinsman.nl.
Who is Wouter?
Wouter was born on May 18, 1989 in Hengelo. He went through high school through trial and error, followed various courses with varying degrees of success and in 2009 he started a digital consultancy agency. As a sober Twente, he led an average life until he had enough at the age of twenty-five. ‘I was successful and had a monthly income of 30,000 euros, but I realized that the work and the money no longer gave me satisfaction. I was unhappy in my relationships, I used drugs recreationally, and I often suffered from panic attacks and hyperventilation. In addition, I was mainly concerned with pleasing the people around me. During a holiday in Egypt I decided that things had to be radically different. The best decision ever. Then my search for inner happiness began. Between 2017 and 2021, I spent thousands of hours mastering the art of coaching. I became officially certified as a high performance coach and I worked with a template to guide my clients. That worked very well, but putting check marks on a template was not really my style. I decided to let that go and continue without a fixed program and to base coaching largely on my own experiences. So when I say you can have it all, I speak from experience. I’m now doing exactly what I want to do, with the people I love. I see no boundaries and I believe without a doubt that I can be who I want to be and do what I want to do.”
Kleinsman is also a literalist. He had already read hundreds of books on personal development, but was missing a book that discussed all important areas of life. ‘Most books are about one or a few sub-areas, so you can never tackle your entire life at once. I then decided, based on my knowledge and personal experiences, to write a practical book that guides the reader on the path to an extraordinary life.’ The book How to Become a Gamechanger was published in 2020 and is now a bestseller. A second book followed in May 2023 with Fuck it, you can have it all. ‘I noticed that many of my successful clients knew that more was possible, but they still couldn’t get any further. I decided to write a book that can help them quickly and effectively. Just like How to Become a Gamechanger, this book also has a practical approach so that you can immediately put into practice what you have read.’ In addition to the two books, the no-nonsense coach also regularly writes articles with tools to lead an extraordinary life for his own website and for the FHM website. The Unscripted podcast has recently been launched. ‘In this podcast I share my insights about radical transformation. No polished stories, no prepared answers, and certainly no censorship. I go straight to the core of what it means to grow, change and ultimately transform into the ideal life. I am also not afraid to share my own experiences, successes and failures in the podcast. In this way I show that real change is only possible if you are honest.’
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