May 10, 2024
Today at
06:00
Since every disadvantage has its advantage, even the Eurovision Song Contest has its advantage: Andréke Vermeulen is dusted off. Due to the controversy over Israel’s participation, he was actually allowed to take office in ‘The Appointment’ this time. In the same episode in which Conner Rousseau was also offered the stage again, it would not have been true under Walter Zinzen.
Smartphone use among young people was the ideal topic to gradually reacquaint the population with the fallen chairman, he’s back bitches. But was Israel allowed to sing a song in Malmö or not? Andréke kept a low profile, as befits the objective observer he has always been. Mia Doornaert not only allowed Israel to participate, but also had to win: ‘Such a beautiful song.’
Every time a singer from the sixties dies, we are happy. Not only because then there is a reasonable hope that they will not perform again at the age of eighty, although you can no longer be sure of that due to artificial intelligence, but more because Andréke then shows up in his flexi-job as ‘chef in memoriam’ of the public announcement.
The young foals of the VRT news editors like to appear on screen themselves, using broad gestures to indicate what happened ‘here behind me’, but they rarely show much historical knowledge. And certainly not when it comes to music. “They don’t even know Kalinka,” Andréke shouted indignantly at Kalinka’s death, as if he had just learned that a novice colleague had never heard of Napoleon. ‘Bob Benny! I had to explain who Bob Benny was, can you believe that? Sixth at the Eurovision Song Contest in Cannes, connais pas. ‘Un peu de poivre, un peu de sel’, then they think you are talking about a cooking column.’
The young foals like to appear in the picture themselves, but they rarely show much historical knowledge.
It is the eternal problem in journalism: the young know nothing about the past and the old know nothing about the present. And anyone who falls between the two knows nothing about either. And they all sigh: if only we could be rid of that other guard.
Due to the lack of file knowledge among the current class, Vermeulen makes the post-mortem overviews himself as if a celebrity from the boompa and boompa era has sniffed his last line. For practical reasons, imagine that he is not at home when Paul Anka dies, they have asked him to record these obituaries in advance. And he does this very thoroughly, a method that characterized his generation of reporters and is lacking in the current one. There are already contributions ready about studio guitarists from The Hollies, backing vocals from Sue Thompson, lyricists from The Four Tops, make-up artists from Elton John, roadies from Danny & the Juniors… More than 16,000 in total. When the new VRT building is completed, they will need an extra column of moving vans.
Artists who wish to do so may check their obituaries for errors, but they can spare themselves the trouble: there are no errors in André Vermeulen’s reports. Even his predictions for the Eurovision Song Contest have all proven correct, to the extent that sometimes the impression of rigging was created. Especially when the Portuguese won, we have forgotten his name, but the day he leaves for the hunting fields, they will have to rein in Andréke. In the meantime, he toils on the crown jewel of his death cabinet: his own in memoriam. He already has the beginning: ‘André Vermeulen was an exceptionally talented journalist.’ Correct again.
