Today
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reading time 3 minutes
When cancer comes into your life, you start to think about what is really important in your life. The Over my dead body-participants and their loved ones deal with the influence of cancer in their lives every day.
In the final episode of the Over my dead bodypodcast, Eva, from the last season, and Kyara, the sister of former participant Irene, talk about the life lessons that cancer taught them. Later, David, Jip’s good friend from season seven, joins us.
How do you deal with the idea that you will never get better?
Although her sister Irene is no longer alive, Kyara still remembers how she dealt with her illness. ‘The fact that she was sick was shitty and annoying. But you can’t do anything about that, so it’s just a matter of feeling bad for a while and then moving on. So don’t get stuck in it and use it to get more out of life, not to wait with that tattoo, a conversation, whatever. Just living a lot more now.” Eva agrees; she says that in addition to the sadness, her illness also provides many funny moments: ‘I think it’s just beautiful that you can see not only the bad, but also the funny; a little the dark humor.’
What does approaching death teach you?
Being terminally ill or experiencing a terminal illness in your immediate environment does not leave you unaffected. It changes your mindset, according to the podcast guests. Eva: ‘About who I am, death has taught me that you should actually live for yourself and not for someone else. At first, before I got sick, I was very concerned with living for others; very much people pleasing (avoiding conflict, ed.) and make someone else happy. Sometimes you had things that made you think: is this really necessary? And I just really don’t do that anymore. If it just doesn’t make me happy, then I won’t do it anymore. I really put myself first.’ Kyara also started looking at life differently after the death of her sister. ‘I really look at: what gives energy, what makes me happy? If it only costs me things, why would I do it? That doesn’t do anyone any good.’ Eva also says that during her illness she gained a different view of her fellow man. ‘Yes, I started looking at people differently. At first I was quite… I was quite good judge (judgements, ed.) (…) now I think: behind every person there is their own story, you cannot judge someone from the outside.’
Can cancer also have a positive influence?
David, a good friend of former participant Jip, joins us. He attended a healing service together with Jip, and even though this was of no avail and Jip remained ill; David saw that Jip continued to see the good side of cancer. Jip saw the little things as a miracle and even wrote the book Cancer is a gift. Eva also somewhat agrees with this: ‘The cancer has really changed my approach to life (…) everyone lives according to how it should be. If you have cancer, or someone around you, you no longer live like that.’
