‘My toddler bites my older 9-year-old son. What should the school say?’

‘My toddler bites my older 9-year-old son. What should the school say?’
‘My toddler bites my older 9-year-old son. What should the school say?’

Sometimes there are difficult situations at home, and as a mother you can get some advice. This mother shares her story on Facebook in hopes of getting some recognition: her youngest child bites her older son. And hard too.

Her toddler is a biter and also bites his older brother.

Kelly: ‘My 2-year-old son has never gone to daycare because his dad is at home (for medical reasons). So he’s not used to sharing. So when his older 9-year-old brother does something that doesn’t suit him in his eyes, he gets angry. Usually just by shouting. But last night he suddenly bit my 9 year old son’s jaw. Immediately told my 2 year old son that this is not possible, with a raised voice and put him on a chair aside for time out. Now this morning the 9-year-old son had a clearly visible bite on his jaw. I’m ashamed because what will the school say, etc.? How do you take this?’

Why do children bite?

Many mothers understand her concerns and explain to her that she needs to teach her toddler to share. She must also explain to him that biting hurts and is absolutely not allowed in the house. She doesn’t have to worry right away either. Child biting is a behavior that often occurs in early childhood, especially in toddlers and preschoolers. It can have a variety of causes and is usually a normal part of social skills development.

In young children, biting can be a way of expressing or communicating when they are not yet able to convey their feelings or needs with words. Sometimes children bite to get attention, even if it is negative attention. Other mothers also recommend this to her: ‘Ask your toddler why he bites in a quiet moment. Maybe an honest answer will come out, and he just wants to be seen’.

How to deal with biting behavior:

  1. Stay calm: It is important to remain calm and not react angrily. Children are often looking for responses and it is important not to reinforce negatively.
  2. Investigate the causes: Try to understand the causes of the biting behavior. Is it out of frustration, communication, or to ask for attention?
  3. Learn alternative methods of communication: Teach the child alternative ways to express themselves, such as using words or gestures.
  4. Give positive attention: Provide sufficient positive attention and reward good behavior to prevent the child from seeking negative attention by biting.
  5. Monitoring: Monitor the child’s interactions with others, especially if the biting occurs repeatedly.
  6. Learn empathy: Teach the child about empathy and understanding the feelings of others.

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The article is in Dutch

Tags: toddler bites older #9yearold son school


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